Black Cow Vodka: You'll Never Look at a Cow in the Same Way Again!

This week we’ve donned our wellies, bestowed our flat caps and juiced up our taste buds with one hell of an intriguing and fortuitous vodka. So guys, rise from your seats and say a bountiful hello to the world’s first pure milk vodka (yep that’s right, we said pure milk): Black Cow Vodka. When the world had thought it had exhausted all the possible liquids to distill, this bloody beauty reared it’s bovine bonce and pulled out of the sprituous bag a vodka that delivers texture as well as taste. So moo-ve over all you grain vodkas, there’s a new player in town! (Ah, come on, we had to throw in a pun somewhere! But don’t worry we won’t milk it! OK, OK, we’ll stop now!)

So when we first encountered this deliciously curious vodka, not only were we simply bewildered at what we were reading on the label, (we may have accidentally and so eloquently shouted out in the shop “what the…”) we also asked ourselves the questions; but why the hell use milk? Is that possible? But with an open mind and, more importantly, a fair few quaffs the stuff we thought, yeah, why the hell not? This vodka brings a new dimension to this categories table and a taste that’ll make you never look at a cow the same again. So, before we excitedly plunge into what this vodka does to our taste buds, let’s have a look at the humble beginnings of such an alluring thirst quencher.

Way down near the picturesque beaches of the West Dorset Heritage Coast and nestled away in the counties luscious farmland, is one extraordinary, entrepreneurial farmer who had the desire to diversify the produce of his 250 strong dairy farm. So who’s the farmer? Well, Jason Barber of course (no, not the jacket guy!), and the idea? Well vodka, obviously! And as ideas go, this is a damn fine one.

Already an award winning cheese maker, and with a personal love for vodka, Jason set about producing a milk beer using the whey extracted from the white stuff and adding a special yeast that converts the milk sugar into alcohol. Genius! Step aside Einstein, there’s a new freaking prodigy in town! This is then distilled and treated with their secret blending process, triple filtered and bottled ever so lovingly by hand. And we’ll bet you a score that there are dairy farmers all over the UK now, ferociously banging their heads against walls, wishing they had came up with such a champion idea. Sure, even we looked twice at the carton in our fridge!

So now we know how this was hatched, it’s time to get our noses stuck in. And heaven above, it’s like we’ve accidentally walked in on ice cream having wild sex with alcohol! Our noses are hit with such an explosion of vanilla, like someone has just dunked our head in to an immeasurable vat of booze-pimped vanilla ice cream or got us in the face in a hooch-soaked milk gunfight. The sweetness is fantastic but it also has a punchy potency to it. There is a great crisp, freshness to the aroma that makes this vodka so elegantly rounded.

Man, were we looking forward to tasting this! And it certainly didn’t disappoint. Within seconds of getting it down us, BAM, we were nostalgically whisked back to our bumbling childhood, gleefully devouring a Gallones 99 on the curb that was bigger than our bloody head, only with the added bliss of it being alcoholic! The drive from the vanilla is insane. But we’re not talking about that artificial, two bit vanilla imposter, we’re talking about the true, soft, voluptuous vanilla, the likes that makes you feel like you’ve just been washed up on the shores of Madagascar.

You’ll soon find a subtle hit of cinnamon coming through as well, adding a good spicy element to its character which balances out the sweetness so it’s not to high-handed. It’s a kick that ensures you that this is still a vodka. A vodka that can dish out that well needed alcohol buzz just as much as the next. And that it does. Even though the sweet vanilla is prominent, this vodka still delivers what a vodka should, just in its own unique way and there is also no denying the smoothness, it goes down well, really well.

But what makes this vodka so intriguing is the texture. Unsurprisingly it’s creamy (it is made from whole milk after all), but never before have we tasted anything that’s so clear in appearance but with such a luscious consistency. It may defy logic but, man, it works! So Jason, kudos to you and your cows, you bloody know what you’re doing and your doing it well. And there we were thinking cows were only good for shoes and steak, oh how wrong were we, eh? Top marks!

You can pick it up here, at The Whisky Exchange

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